Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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