Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize