When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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