I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize