Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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