i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
