I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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