Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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