he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
