You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
