well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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