jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I love having hate sex.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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