I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize