So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
