It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
