if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
