so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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