do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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