dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
