Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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