Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
