you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
