Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
