Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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