What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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