Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
