jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
