Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
