can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
