was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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