Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I need to calm my uterus...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
