like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
