dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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