he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm always down for nudity.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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