with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
