Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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