Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
