he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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