My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
