May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
