i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Actions speak louder than pants.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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