She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
