He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize