He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize