You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize