it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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