It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
