You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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