i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
