its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
