absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
