I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she told me i tasted like america
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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