i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
