So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
