pedialite and red bull = repair kit
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize