6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
