it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
