I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Then you guys just all showered together...?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
