She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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