I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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