There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
