My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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