I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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