I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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