I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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