I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
