and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
