I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize