we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
