real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
