sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize