Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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